Happy for no reason.

If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.

If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.

If you’re happy and you know, then your face will surely show it.

If you’re happy and know it, clap your hands.

A nice little children’s song. As you read those words did the melody play in your head? Of course it did. And did it lift your spirits, even just a little? I hope so.

There’s something about singing a silly song that’s just plan fun. It’s kind of like being happy for no reason. What if you sang a silly song at work??  You may want to sing it quietly to yourself, or sing it out loud, depending on your work conditions and/or your singing voice. Wouldn’t it provide a little lift to your day?

What I’m saying here, is that if you want, you can give yourself a boost and be happy at any time for no reason, just because you can.  Yes, you can. Happiness has been known to make us more productive, and of course you’ll enjoy your day more being happy than not. Also, people will like being around you more. We all like happy people.

SO…. we can drag ourselves through our day, or we can sing and be happy for no reason. I’ve done both and I’m a big fan of being happy. Sometimes I have to kinda work at being happy, like singing a happy tune, but I always feel better for it.

Some say fake it until you make it. I’m not a fan of that but I’m not against it either. I prefer to practice until I get it. Practice, practice, practice. Practice until you get it and then practice some more.

And most importantly……

Enjoy always, T

Romance of Travel.

Continuing on with the theme: the romance of travel – which I only hinted at in my post on Tuesday – I ask the question;

What makes travel romantic?

You there, on the left, in the red plaid kilt (ohh baby)…. Yes, bingo, it’s the unknown newness of the experience. It’s the excitement of discovery. It’s the call of the open road armed with only a road map and a vague idea of where you’re going, especially since we aren’t on a ‘guided tour’ and we’re doing this on our own. Yes folks, pretty scary, pretty exciting..

But even the most detailed map is only an indication of what you will truly experience along the way. It can tell you where’s the next turn in the road, but it can’t tell you what you will find there or how you’ll react when you take that turn and find a beautiful ancient castle or a decrepit old farm house.

Yes, it’s the lure of the unknown, the path not yet taken that draws out our romantic instincts. It’s no wonder that so many romance stories include travel. I know mine does.

One of the most romantic aspects of a new relationship is the very newness of it, the walking into the unknown, the exploration of another. The romantic newness of any relationship can last for a good long time, if you want it to and are willing to work at it, but somewhere along the way you’re going to find you’re no longer in the romancing stage and move into the state of relationship. Hopefully it’s still an exciting state with lots of sunshine and only enough rain.   (Bonus question here: Who can tell me when I used the metaphor of exploration in Return In Time?)

When the romantic high settles down then the “relationship” settles in. I once asked a young male friend if he was dating his current female friend or if they were a couple. He asked how was he to know? I said, when you know you’re going to see her again – and only her – then you’re a couple. Not unlike travel, if you know you’re going to be someplace for a while, you’re no longer traveling, you’re either visiting (which is like shacking-up together) or living there (rather like being married). There’s nothing wrong with finding the right place to lay your head, but when you do, but you’re no longer on the road.

Romance and travel, they do go together, like bread and butter. And like I said onTuesday, it’s great to travel, but it’s good to be back home.

Enjoy always, T

Looking for Love.

Are you looking for love in all the right places? Are you looking for exactly the right person at exactly the right time? Are you looking for that one special person that will make everything perfect?  If you are – good luck with that.

I have always been interested in relationships, and romance. I have spent much of my adult life studying personal relationships in everyday life, watching to see what works and what doesn’t. In other words, I watch people and listen to what they say and watch what they do. I’ve seen people create romance, which leads to relationships, which can lead to a lot of places.

Are you looking, OR are you creating?

You can look and look and look, and maybe you’ll find, and maybe you won’t. The fastest and best way to experience anything, whether it be romance, joy, happiness or love, yes especially love, is to create. You create it and then you have it. Quick, easy, simple.

Oh, but I hear you say, it’s not so quick, easy or simple. I can’t do that, I don’t know how. There’s a saying, If you think you can’t, you’re probably right!!

So, what are you thinking? If you think it’s hard, you’re right. If you think it’s easy, because after all, love is all around us, you’re right. You get to choose. Now isn’t that good news?

Don’t get me wrong. I feel your pain, your frustration. I’ve been there and have even been know to re-visit my own private hell.  Thankfully these days I keep my visits short. It doesn’t take much suffering to remind me that’s not a place I want to dwell. Reminds me of a song….

Since my baby left me, I found a new place to dwell, it’s down at the end of lonely street, at heart-break hotel.

How do you create romance? Are you open and receptive to receiving love? Are you really? The best way to find a friend, is to be a friend. Be the one who says HI when someone new walks in the door. Don’t worry about results, don’t even think about results, just think about being friendly. And if the other person chooses not to be friendly, no sweat, no problems. Don’t take it personally. They don’t know you well enough for it to be personal. It really is them, not you. So let it go – and keep going.

You want to create romance? Start small and be a friend.  Be friendly and watch. And stay open and receptive to creating the best you can be.

BTW, I’ll be off line for a couple of weeks. See you when I get back from Scotland!! Now how exciting is that?

Enjoy always, T

Relationship Motivation.

Relationship burn-out can happen, and often does faster than we anticipate. We often lose sight of our initial attraction and the things that brought us together in the first place. Life together becomes bland and, well, normal. It’s just human nature. We like the highs, but they’re hard to maintain.

Results inspire our actions. We’re motivated at the beginning of a relationship to get the results we want, to get the man or woman of our dreams, or a close approximation. We work hard to create that all important connection, the One that will see us through to happily ever after. Wow, great fun, and lots of motivation.

We start a romance really motivated and super excited. How can we not be? We’re on a quest for romance, love and hopefully great s*x. We’re thrilled by the whole newness of the experience. Our expectations are sky high and the forecast looks good. Clear sailing.

So how do we keep the motivation going after ‘normal’ sets in?

Sooner than you know, it’s six months or a year or two down the road and things start to feel stale. You’ve landed your big prize and you’re no longer motivated to be your best self. Now what?

Relationship success happens when you learn to go with the flow while still flexing your ‘love muscle’, Romance.

If you want to learn a skill, you practice. And you keep practicing so you don’t become rusty. If you want to be a successful musician, you practice. Even when you get the ten year contract to play on national TV, you practice. If you stop, and let time go by, you’d get rusty, out of shape, and have to work hard to get your groove back.

Actions inspire results. Keep your romance muscle in shape. Don’t let it sag.

One of my daily practices is to always greet my beau when he comes home. I mean really greet him. I stop what I’m doing and take the minute or two to really acknowledge his presence and show my appreciation that he’s there. And you know what? He does the same for me. I can tell you it feels darn good to be acknowledged and appreciated.

So, what are some of the ways you practice romance? What keeps your relationship-motivation going? You knew I was going to ask. I bet there’s some interesting ideas out there. Are you willing to share?

Enjoy always, T

Romance with a letter T.

Today’s romance and relationship blog is brought to you by the letter T.

You may have noticed that I post blogs on Tuesday and Thursday. You may have noticed that the heroine of Return In Time is named Teressa. You my have noticed that I sign my posts with the letter T.

With romance in mind, let’s look at a few other things that start with the letter T.

We’ll start with the big one; Trust – there’s so much that can be said about Trust, I may have to make it a separate post, but let me just say, romance can not exist without Trust. Think about it.

Transformation – which is kin to Alchemy of Intimacy. Romance and relations have the ability to transform us from who we were to who we can become. Tell me, who do you want to be? Use the spiritual magic of transformation and the Alchemy of Intimacy to create your best.

Temptation – God (and that snide little snake of his) knows that temptation is as old as mankind and reared it’s deceptively interesting head right from the get-go. Temptation, that’s a tricky one. Sometimes it’s something we need to master and sometimes it’s the thing we give in to. Yes, very interesting.

Oh, and let us not forget – Tease – which often goes hand-in-hand with Temptation.  I’m sure that one can stand on it’s own.

Time-Travel – the ability to transport ourselves to another time and place, often linked to fantasy. Now we’re talking

Tingle – that feeling you get… well you know when you get that feeling. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you.

So tell me, what’s your favor romantic T words. Inquiring minds want to know.

Someday we’ll talk about the letters P and C. That should be interesting.

Keep a smile in your heart and –

Enjoy always, T