Magical Musings Monday – Great Expectations

buddhaExpectations, great and small, good lord, it seems we have them all. Did you know that expectations are the number one cause of all pain and suffering? If you don’t believe me, just ask Buddha.

You might have thought that stress was the number one cause of pain, and you’d be right. But let me ask you: What causes stress?
Answer: Expectations.
Usually it’s the expectations we place on ourselves, but just as often it’s the ones we believe the outside world places upon us.

What causes fear? Same answer: Expectations. It’s the expectation that something bad is going to happen. What that “bad” thing may be is up to you.

What causes sadness? Doggone-it, it’s those pesky expectations again. What is sadness but the fear and worry that you don’t have everything you want or need? You may think your sadness is caused by loss, say the loss of a loved one like a spouse, child, family member or dear friend, or the loss of a job or home, the list goes on and on. What you’re really sad about is that your expectations are no longer being fulfilled. It’s only because you believe and expect you should have these experiences, such as the continued presence of a loved one, that you become sad when the experience changes.

Still not buying it? Let me show you an example. What if you KNEW beyond any doubts that your beloved was always with you and you could always feel their love as you wished. Anytime, all the time, you were aware of their love. Sounds good, right?  No reason to be sad. You get up in the morning and you each go your separate ways. You’re not together, but you’re not sad. You know you’ll see your beloved at the end of the day. You love them, they love you, it’s all good.

Then they have to go away on a trip, for whatever reason. You might be a little sad that you won’t be seeing them every night. Where does that sadness come from? From the preconceived expectation that you should see them every night, that you need to see them every night. But your sadness isn’t too bad, you know you’ll see them again in a couple of days. There’s no love lost.

Imagine if you could stretch this time out to a few weeks, a month, even years, and the results were the same. Sadness is caused by expectations for certain results or experiences that you want to achieve or avoid.  How deeply you experience sadness will be based on how deeply you expected certain results.

Usually, sadness will fade over time as we adjust our expectations to become more in alignment with what we’re actually experiencing. Except, so often we create new expectations for new experiences and the cycle begins again.

Okay, now here’s the punch line. WHAT IF you could love without expectations? Ohmygod, you think, not possible. I agree, we all have expectations, great and small. But if you could love without expectations – then what? ? ?  You tell me. It could be interesting.

 

Greetings at Lord Gavin Goodman’s Glorious Gala.

Charming letter G

Golden Glowing G.

“Where do you think you’re going in that gauzy get-up?” General George Geiger gawked at his granddaughter with a guarded grin as she glided gracefully toward the garage door.

Gwendolyn ground to a halt and glanced at her garment. She was dressed as a Greek goddess in an iridescent gown of glowing golden gauze with gems galore gracing her gangly neck and arms.

“Why, to Lord Gavin Goodman’s Glorious Gala, of course,” she replied. “Don’t you remember, Grand Papa? Tonight is the Gaudy G themed masquerade ball.”

“Oh, yes. Yes, of course. How could I forget?” he grumbled.

Gwendolyn smiled graciously. It was obvious he was getting on in years and had forgotten the event. She returned to his side and gave him a hug. “Oh, Grand Papa, I do wish you could go. I’m sure the night will be grand and glorious. It’s said to be the grandest party of the year.” She sighed with glee.

“In my younger years I would have gladly escorted you to this glorious gala. I was a right fine gentleman in my prime, but those days are gone, now.” A glint of sadness graced his gaunt features.

“Will you be all right on your own?” Gwendolyn asked with great concern.

“Good as gold,” her grandfather answered with overdone gusto. “Go, go, have a good time.” He waved her off with a gallant gesture.

Gwendolyn gave her grandfather one final kiss on his cheek before she gingerly gathered her gauzy skirts and glided toward the door.

The gala masquerade was being held on a grand old Spanish galleon that had seen its better days out at sea, but now rested gracefully at Lord Gavin’s dock down at pier 39. Gwendolyn was giddy with anticipation as she climbed the gangway leading up to the galleon. The grand old ship was glamorously festooned with garlands of lights twinkling gaily  and the music of GreenDay filled the air.

Making her way through the gregarious crowd, she wondered if she would be so gifted as to garner a gaze from Lord Goodman. Gawking at the Gaudily costumed guests, she saw  gay gypsies, green genies, gruff gorillas, German generals, gory goblins and grotesque gargoyles garbed in gray, just to name a few.

And then she saw him, Lord Gavin Goodman, grandly garbed as a Gentleman Gaucho. A genuine smile graced his genteel face. Gwendolyn gasped. He was gorgeous, if such could be said about a gentleman Gaucho.

Lord Gavin stepped forward, looked into her glazed-over green eyes, graced her hand with a kiss, and said, “Greetings, my dear Greek goddess. I believe it’s my sincere pleasure to meet you. May I have this dance.”

Gwendolyn gushed with gratitude. What a glorious gala this would be. . .

Enjoy always, T

Wonderfully Supportive.

On Veterans Day, a day when we stop to remember all the good and noble people who have served the U.S. in the armed forces, I am very thankful for all of us who support each other in our daily endeavors. BTW, I served in the Navy four years active and two years reserve, and am a certifiable vet. Thanks, it was my pleasure.

Today is the Veterans Day holiday observed in the US, and since I work for a bank, I have the day off. I have been using my morning to cruise the internet for fellow bloggers, authors, writers services, cover designs and artists, blogs, etc, you name it. I gave myself this little block of playtime as I usually find there’s way too much stuff to look at in my limited time allotted, and today of course is no different. I could cruise for hours and only see a smidgen of what’s out there. (oh wait, that is exactly what I’ve been doing.) I have a number of blog buddies, but it’s hard to find the time to read all of their wonderful posts. I LEA them all. (LEA = like, enjoy, appreciate)

But, with all that said, what I really want to say is how wonderfully supportive everyone is to each other (more often then not). For the most part, we tend to love life, and life loves us back.

Now, isn’t that Grand and Glorious on a major scale?

God bless us humans, we really have it going on.

Enough said, Enjoy Always.  T

BTW, will be back soon with more ABC’s of Romance. Hope you’ve enjoyed reading them as much as I have writing them. It’s been such fun.

 

I’m not giving up Chocolate.

Ah, the romance of self-sacrifice! The idea that we would give of ourselves to become a better person for ourselves and for others. Yes, a romantic idea indeed.

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent in many Christian religions. I was raised as a Catholic and for years I have followed the annual Lenten ritual of giving up something for Lent, the 46 days preceding Easter. (It’s only 40 if you don’t count Sundays!) 

While I’m no longer a ‘practicing Catholic’ I still observe Lent. It’s somewhat of a holdover from my traditional Catholic upbringing, but now I make the effort more to satisfy my personal preferences rather than to comply with religious tenets. I appreciate the idea of that I can choose to ‘give something up’ as a demonstration of my own willpower over the choices I make. I like to muster the determination needed to make a commitment and see it through to the end. It requires that every day I be aware of my choices.

For years I’ve given up liquor and chocolate, but not this year. This year I’ll continue to give up liquor – it’s not like I’m a really big drinker – but instead of chocolate, I’m giving up cakes, cookies and pastries. I know I could give up the chocolates, I’ve done it before, many times and I’m certain I could do it again, should I so desire. But I’ve never tried to do the cakes, cookies and pastries thing before, and this year I wanted to do something different. At least that’s what I tell myself.

I’m sure it has nothing to do with the BIG box of chocolates sitting at home in my cupboard. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.

Anyone else out there who still observes the Lenten ritual of self-sacrifice? Just asking.

Enjoy always, T

Great Expectations.

Expectations, great and small, we all have them. And did you know that expectations are the number one cause of all pain and suffering? If you don’t believe me, just ask the Buddha.

You might have thought that stress was the number one cause of pain. Yes, right, but let me ask you: What causes stress? Answer: Expectations.  Usually it’s the ones we place on ourselves, but just as often it’s the ones we believe the outside world places upon us.

What causes fear? Same answer: Expectations. It’s the expectation that something bad is going to happen. What that “bad” thing may be is up to you.

What causes sadness? Doggone-it, it’s those pesky expectations again. What is sadness but the fear and worry that you don’t have everything you want or need? You may think your sadness is caused by loss, say the loss of a loved one like a spouse, child, family member or dear friend, or the loss of a job or home, the list goes on and on. What you’re really sad about is that your expectations are no longer being fulfilled. It’s only because you believe and expect you should have these experiences, such as the continued presence of a loved one, that you become sad when the experience changes.

Still not buying it? Let me show you an example. What if you KNEW beyond any doubts that your beloved was always with you and you could always feel their love as you wished. Anytime, all the time, you were aware of their love. Sounds good, right?  No reason to be sad. You get up in the morning and you each go your separate ways. You’re not together, but you’re not sad. You know you’ll see your beloved at the end of the day. You love them, they love you, it’s all good.

Then they have to go away on a trip, for whatever reason. You might be a little sad that you won’t be seeing them every night. Where does that sadness come from? From the preconceived expectation that you should see them every night, that you need to see them every night. But your sadness isn’t too bad, you know you’ll see them again in a couple of days. There’s no love lost.

You can stretch this time out to a few weeks, a month, even years, and the results are the same. Your sadness is caused by expectations for certain results or experiences that you want to achieve.  How deeply you experience sadness will be based on how deeply you expected  certain results.

Usually your sadness will fade over time as you adjust your expectations to become more in alignment with what you’re actually experiencing. Often, we then go on to create new expectations for new experiences and the cycle begins again.

Okay, now here’s the punch line. WHAT IF you could love without expectations? Ohmygod, you think, not possible. We all have expectations we want to have met. And I don’t disagree. But if you could love without expectations – then what???? You tell me. It could be interesting.