Look for the good.
Leonard Cohen sings; There’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.
I like the idea that nothing is perfect and yet everything is perfect just the way it is.
We can act like everything is okay, or we can act like everything is not okay. (act = think, feel, react) Either way, we’re the one doing the choosing, not the ‘thing’. The thing that happened, whatever that thing may be, is neutral. The thing itself is neither good nor bad, it just is. We may judge it to good or bad, and we may even have a large following that agrees with us, but regardless, it’s still a judgment call. We even get to judge how good or how bad a thing is. Good or bad, right or wrong, either way we’re the one doing the choosing.
Rather than jumping to large, easy to judge things – like disasters, let’s stick to the small things – like… oh let’s say… relationships. (In the grand scheme of things, even the end of a marriage is ‘small’ compared to an earthquake or a tsunami.)
I expect most of us have experienced the breakup of a relationship at one time or another. I know I have, more than once throughout my life, and usually at the time it felt bad. Very BAD. And sometimes it was also judged to be bad by others, like my friends and family. Regardless of how the breakup of the relationship came about, there were always things that were out of my control. Lots of things – things that just happened.
While I couldn’t control all those outside things, like a boyfriend that moved away or a lover who wanted to be with someone else, what I could control was how I chose to react. I’m a pretty optimistic type of person. After I stopped crying, I always chose to believe I would find another significant relationship (sooner or later) and life would go on. Both beliefs have proved to be correct. I did find another boyfriend/lover and life did go on.
When I’m tempted to feel like things suck, I try to remind me that things are neither good nor bad, they simply ARE. It’s my choice of perception that causes me to see them as either one way or the other. Everything simply is. When I look for the good – I find the good. When I look for the bad – I can always find the bad. So the question I have to keep asking myself is; where am I looking.
Look of the good – find the good. Look for the bad – find the bad. Where are you looking?
And how’s that working for you?
Enjoy always, T