Why is this blog called the Alchemy of Intimacy? Because I like the way it sounds? Yes, but I could also call it the Alchemy of Romance, or the Alchemy of Relationships, because they all fit and would mean the same thing.
Alchemy refers to change, as in changing from a base state of being to a higher state of being.
Intimacy is a strong feeling of connection to another, not just to a lover, but to the world around us.
I’m talking about relationships and their power to transform us. Each encounter we have with another being is an intimate relationship by the nature of its immediacy. Whether it’s your most intimate relationship with your lover, or the relationship you experience for a fleeting moment with a sales clerk, they all have the power to transform the individuals involved. They shape our lives and give us countless opportunities to express and explore who we really are.
A sales clerk? Really? Yes, really. Recently I was standing in line at the grocery store with my darling daughter waiting for our turn to be checked out. I noticed that the sales clerk looked a little down and out, a bit tired and a tad on the down side from happy. I whispered to my daughter that it was going to be my goal to give the sales clerk a reason to smile. As she began checking out my groceries, I began chatting with her, the usual small talk. I made sure to make eye contact, keep a smile on my face and in my voice, and I asked her sincerely how she was doing. I commented that she must get tired checking out groceries all day and that I appreciated her assistance. She smiled, really smiled, and thanked me for noticing. In that moment we created an alchemy of intimacy. We each gave and received and choose to express our highest selves (highest self at that given moment).
With each new encounter you get to choose if you will act or react. Only in the scared moment of NOW can you choose who you want to be. You can’t decide to be nice and smile at the sales clerk after the moment has passed. It’s passed, done, no do overs. You can decide to be nicer and smile next time, but you can’t go back to the moment that has passed.
I’ve been a foreign exchange trader for many years. It’s common practice to confirm a trade by saying “Done.” And every foreign exchange trader knows, Done is Done. A true professional does not renege, does not ask for a do-over or claim she was “just kidding”, not if she wants to survive in the business.
And so it is with life and relationships. Done is Done. Don’t take anyone or any moment for granted. With each new encounter you get to think, choose and do. Go out and do your best, that’s all anyone can do. And with each new encounter, experience the alchemy of intimacy.
So, tell me, have you had any good intimate encounters lately??
Enjoy always, T