Blog Archives
The romance of romance.
I love a good romance story. Real or fictional
I’ve been reading romance for years, decades. It’s best if you don’t ask how many….
I have boxes full of my ‘keepers,’ romance stories that I’ve read and keep in case I ever want to read them again. As you can guess, I tend to like Scottish historicals, time-travel adventures, fairies, elves and wizards. Some of my favorite authors are: Janet Chapman, Melissa Mayhue, Monica McCarty and Karen Marie Moning. I know because I just looked in one of my keeper boxes. These women are my heroes. They’ve done great things. They’ve written romance stories that people (mostly women) want to read. I should be so lucky.
I’ve always enjoyed good loving and sweet romance. When I meet a new couple for the first time I like to ask them how they met. Lots of people have really good stories. In future blogs maybe I’ll share a few. I like watching couples interact. NO, not like THAT, I mean in public. I take notice of how a couple interacts with each other in public, like in restaurants, on public transportation or even just walking down the street. Body language speaks if we just listen. We hear it with our eyes.
Many years ago when my marriage was coming to an end (yes folks, I have been married and divorced! It was hard but I did survive, thank you very much) I was accused of being too romantic, that I was looking for romantic love, not the stuff of real life. Darn right I was. But here’s the catch, at least for me, I believe that romantic love is the stuff of real life. It’s been my real life for the last five years and still going strong. And let me tell you, I have no plans on giving up on my romantic love life.
After finding the romantic love of my life it was easier for me to write romance. Now I know what it feels like and it just seems natural. I really like a good romance story. I really believe in the value of two people falling in love. It’s what we’re all looking for, that happily ever after. It make our world a better place.
I believe romance stories aren’t just about kiss-face and boy meet girl (or vice-verse). It’s about the personal transformation that only relationships can provide. Its about the lives that are affected by these two people. A good and right relationship can change the whole direction of a person’s life in incredibly positive ways.
That’s why I write romance. There’s enough violence, and sadness, and pain in the world. I don’t need to add to the trash heap with my writing. I want to show the world love, and all the joy that love can bring. I’m a hopeful romantic and proud of it.
BTW, I have read stories about vampires or werewolves and I know I don’t like them. I don’t like violence. I don’t do violence. I don’t write about violence. Really, isn’t there enough ‘real’ violence in the world without making up stories about it. Please….. Well, go ahead and write what you want, just don’t expect me to read it. Or if I do, it won’t go in my keeper box.
Have you read any good romance lately?? Try Return In Time. I hear it has a happy ending.
Enjoy always, T
Looking for Love.
Are you looking for love in all the right places? Are you looking for exactly the right person at exactly the right time? Are you looking for that one special person that will make everything perfect? If you are – good luck with that.
I have always been interested in relationships, and romance. I have spent much of my adult life studying personal relationships in everyday life, watching to see what works and what doesn’t. In other words, I watch people and listen to what they say and watch what they do. I’ve seen people create romance, which leads to relationships, which can lead to a lot of places.
Are you looking, OR are you creating?
You can look and look and look, and maybe you’ll find, and maybe you won’t. The fastest and best way to experience anything, whether it be romance, joy, happiness or love, yes especially love, is to create. You create it and then you have it. Quick, easy, simple.
Oh, but I hear you say, it’s not so quick, easy or simple. I can’t do that, I don’t know how. There’s a saying, If you think you can’t, you’re probably right!!
So, what are you thinking? If you think it’s hard, you’re right. If you think it’s easy, because after all, love is all around us, you’re right. You get to choose. Now isn’t that good news?
Don’t get me wrong. I feel your pain, your frustration. I’ve been there and have even been know to re-visit my own private hell. Thankfully these days I keep my visits short. It doesn’t take much suffering to remind me that’s not a place I want to dwell. Reminds me of a song….
Since my baby left me, I found a new place to dwell, it’s down at the end of lonely street, at heart-break hotel.
How do you create romance? Are you open and receptive to receiving love? Are you really? The best way to find a friend, is to be a friend. Be the one who says HI when someone new walks in the door. Don’t worry about results, don’t even think about results, just think about being friendly. And if the other person chooses not to be friendly, no sweat, no problems. Don’t take it personally. They don’t know you well enough for it to be personal. It really is them, not you. So let it go – and keep going.
You want to create romance? Start small and be a friend. Be friendly and watch. And stay open and receptive to creating the best you can be.
BTW, I’ll be off line for a couple of weeks. See you when I get back from Scotland!! Now how exciting is that?
Enjoy always, T
Relationship Motivation.
Relationship burn-out can happen, and often does faster than we anticipate. We often lose sight of our initial attraction and the things that brought us together in the first place. Life together becomes bland and, well, normal. It’s just human nature. We like the highs, but they’re hard to maintain.
Results inspire our actions. We’re motivated at the beginning of a relationship to get the results we want, to get the man or woman of our dreams, or a close approximation. We work hard to create that all important connection, the One that will see us through to happily ever after. Wow, great fun, and lots of motivation.
We start a romance really motivated and super excited. How can we not be? We’re on a quest for romance, love and hopefully great s*x. We’re thrilled by the whole newness of the experience. Our expectations are sky high and the forecast looks good. Clear sailing.
So how do we keep the motivation going after ‘normal’ sets in?
Sooner than you know, it’s six months or a year or two down the road and things start to feel stale. You’ve landed your big prize and you’re no longer motivated to be your best self. Now what?
Relationship success happens when you learn to go with the flow while still flexing your ‘love muscle’, Romance.
If you want to learn a skill, you practice. And you keep practicing so you don’t become rusty. If you want to be a successful musician, you practice. Even when you get the ten year contract to play on national TV, you practice. If you stop, and let time go by, you’d get rusty, out of shape, and have to work hard to get your groove back.
Actions inspire results. Keep your romance muscle in shape. Don’t let it sag.
One of my daily practices is to always greet my beau when he comes home. I mean really greet him. I stop what I’m doing and take the minute or two to really acknowledge his presence and show my appreciation that he’s there. And you know what? He does the same for me. I can tell you it feels darn good to be acknowledged and appreciated.
So, what are some of the ways you practice romance? What keeps your relationship-motivation going? You knew I was going to ask. I bet there’s some interesting ideas out there. Are you willing to share?
Enjoy always, T
Let them go.
Relationship advice 101 – let them go.
Not so easy but very necessary. If someone significant in your life shows you, tells you or even indicates to you that they want to leave, let them go. If they don’t want to be with you, let them go.
Sounds harsh, I know, but it’s really best for both of you.
Let me ask you, why in the world would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be YOU? Why would you want to be with someone who thinks you’re less than wonderful, or not good enough? Even if they say, ‘it’s not you, it’s me,’ accept it and let them go. Trust me, you deserve better than that, lots better. Believe it.
Simple: yes. Easy: no.
I know, you’re thinking, but I like him/her, and I want him/her to like me too. Honey, you are loved, even if it’s not by them.
Sorry, tuff love news here, you can not make the other person want you. You can not make them think, do, or be anyway other than the way they are. Respect that and love them for who they are, not who you want them to be.
The only thing you can decide is who you are in relationship to who they are and what they’re doing. (Notice that nice little phrase there, in relationship?) Everything we do is in relationship to some one or some thing else besides ourselves.
Here’s another kicker (I’m full of them today). If you really do love and care for the other person, you’ll want them to be happy. It won’t be about them making you happy, that’s not their job, that’s your job. It’ll be about accepting what’s best for them, even if what’s best for them is to be with someone else.
Okay, I know I’ll ruffle a few feathers with this one. Give me your feedback. Hit me with your comments. I’d like to hear what you have to say. I’m interested.
Enjoy always, T
