The Mastery of Love.

I recently finished reading The Mastery Of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz, a practical guide to the art of relationship.   I’m not really sure I would call it a practical guide to the art of relationship, but that’s what the book says. I found it to be like a two and a half hour movie that could have been shown in 30 minutes. There was a lot of repetition of the core concepts, over and over. That’s not to say it isn’t filled with nuggets of deep truth and helpful insights. It is. And I would recommend the book to anyone interested in the art of loving the world and yourself, as you are.

It seems to me that one of the core messages, if not the core message was: If you don’t like a person, or a group of people , you can walk away from that person or persons. But if you don’t like yourself, it doesn’t matter where you go, you are  right there.  – – – Yeap, I’d have to agree.

And I really liked this one:  Everyone has a price, and Life respects that price. But that price is not measured in dollars or in gold; it is measured in love. More than that, it is measured in self-love. How much you love yourself–that is your price–and life respects the price. When you love yourself, your price is very high, which means your tolerance fro self-abuse is very low. . . If you don’t like things about yourself, your price is a little lower.  – – – I’d like to think my price is very high. I’m pretty pleased with me. No brag, just fact.

He also says things like, don’t believe everything you hear or read and don’t believe everything you think. Believe what feels good and right and makes you truly happy.  I’m good with that too.

Writing romance stories makes me feel happy — so I write romance stories — and I am happy. Of course,  I hope my stories will entertain and make other people happy, but that’s really not my concern. As selfish as this may seem, I’m not here to make the world happy, I’m here to be happy with the world.  Thankfully, more often than not, I am very happy with my life in this world. And I hope you are too.

Love and blessing to you.  May you enjoy always,  T

The romance of romance.

I love a good romance story. Real or fictional

I’ve been reading romance for years, decades. It’s best if you don’t ask how many….

I have boxes full of my ‘keepers,’ romance stories that I’ve read and keep in case I ever want to read them again. As you can guess, I tend to like Scottish historicals, time-travel adventures, fairies, elves and wizards. Some of my favorite authors are: Janet Chapman, Melissa Mayhue, Monica McCarty and Karen Marie Moning. I know because I just looked in one of my keeper boxes. These women are my heroes. They’ve done great things. They’ve written romance stories that people (mostly women) want to read. I should be so lucky.

I’ve always enjoyed good loving and sweet romance. When I meet a new couple for the first time I like to ask them how they met. Lots of people have really good stories. In future blogs maybe I’ll share a few. I like watching couples interact.  NO, not like THAT, I mean in public. I take notice of how a couple interacts with each other in public, like in restaurants, on public transportation or even just walking down the street. Body language speaks if we just listen. We hear it with our eyes.

Many years ago when my marriage was coming to an end (yes folks, I have been married and divorced! It was hard but I did survive, thank you very much) I was accused of being too romantic, that I was looking for romantic love, not the stuff of real life. Darn right I was. But here’s the catch, at least for me, I believe that romantic love is the stuff of real life. It’s been my real life for the last five years and still going strong. And let me tell you, I have no plans on giving up on my romantic love life.

After finding the romantic love of my life it was easier for me to write romance. Now I know what it feels like and it just seems natural. I really like a good romance story. I really believe in the value of two people falling in love. It’s what we’re all looking for, that happily ever after. It make our world a better place.

I believe romance stories aren’t just about kiss-face and boy meet girl (or vice-verse). It’s about the personal transformation that only relationships can provide. Its about the lives that are affected by these two people. A good and right relationship can change the whole direction of a person’s life in incredibly positive ways.

That’s why I write romance. There’s enough violence, and sadness, and pain in the world. I don’t need to add to the trash heap with my writing. I want to show the world love, and all the joy that love can bring. I’m a hopeful romantic and proud of it.

BTW, I have read stories about vampires or werewolves and I know I don’t like them. I don’t like violence. I don’t do violence. I don’t write about violence. Really, isn’t there enough ‘real’ violence in the world without  making up stories about it. Please….. Well, go ahead and write what you want, just don’t expect me to read it. Or if I do, it won’t go in my keeper box.

Have you read any good romance lately?? Try Return In Time. I hear it has a happy ending.

Enjoy always,  T

Three little words.

So often, it just takes three little words to change our day and even our lives.

Life is good.

Look for the good and you’ll find the good, look for the bad and you’ll find the bad. If I think I’m have a bad day I only need to remind myself that…. Life is good.

Do your best.

Sometimes it helps to remember that at any given time, on any given day, I’m doing the best I can with who I am. We are all doing our best, what ever that may be. And as we all know, sometimes our best is better than others. So go out there and…. Do your best.

Go for it.

The greatest risk is the risk not taken. When fear threatens to hold us back from our greater good, it helps to push ourselves forward …. Go for it.

I love you.

Three of the most powerful words. They have the ability to change our day, and certainly our lives. Don’t hold back, say them often. Say them to yourself. Right here, right now, tell yourself ….. I love you.

Enjoy always,  T

Look for the good.

Look for the good.

Leonard Cohen sings; There’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.

I like the idea that nothing is perfect and yet everything is perfect just the way it is.

We can act like everything is okay, or we can act like everything is not okay. (act = think, feel, react) Either way, we’re the one doing the choosing, not the ‘thing’. The thing that happened, whatever that thing may be, is neutral. The thing itself is neither good nor bad, it just is. We may judge it to good or bad, and we may even have a large following that agrees with us, but regardless, it’s still a judgment call. We even get to judge how good or how bad a thing is.  Good or bad, right or wrong, either way we’re the one doing the choosing.

Rather than jumping to large, easy to judge things – like disasters, let’s stick to the small things – like… oh let’s say… relationships. (In the grand scheme of things, even the end of a marriage is ‘small’ compared to an earthquake or a tsunami.)

I expect most of us have experienced the breakup of a relationship at one time or another. I know I have, more than once throughout my life, and usually at the time it felt bad. Very BAD. And sometimes it was also judged to be bad by others, like my friends and family. Regardless of how the breakup of the relationship came about, there were always things that were out of my control. Lots of things – things that just happened.

While I couldn’t control all those outside things, like a boyfriend that moved away or a lover who wanted to be with someone else, what I could control was how I chose to react. I’m a pretty optimistic type of person. After I stopped crying, I always chose to believe I would find another significant relationship (sooner or later) and life would go on. Both beliefs have proved to be correct. I did find another boyfriend/lover and life did go on.

When I’m tempted to feel like things suck, I try to remind me that things are neither good nor bad, they simply ARE. It’s my choice of perception that causes me to see them as either one way or the other. Everything simply is. When I look for the good – I find the good. When I look for the bad – I can always find the bad. So the question I have to keep asking myself is; where am I looking.

Look of the good – find the good. Look for the bad – find the bad. Where are you looking?

And how’s that working for you?

Enjoy always, T

Love is all there is.

Simple doesn’t mean easy or without value. It’s a simple thing to say “Love is all there is.” It’s not necessarily an easy thing to understand. It’s even harder to try to explain. Explanations have a tendency to muddy the beautiful and crystal clear truth of simple messages.

So, let me repeat, Love is all there is. Everything else is fear and all its deceptive disguises. The masks we wear are deceptive disguises. We all wear them. But sometimes we drop the masks long enough to see the love come shining through.

When we practice dropping our masks, magical things can happen. IF we keep practicing, over and over, eventually we become less dependent on our masks until we eliminate them altogether.

With practice comes perfection. With practice we no longer need to hide behind a false facade. If I love myself, I can love you too.

Practice, practice, practice. We all have to start somewhere. No one was born knowing how to dance, or even walk for that matter. But we all were born with the potential.  We all had to learn and we all did. (Walking, I mean, not dancing. Some of us are still learning how to dance.)

With practice comes experience. With experience comes knowing. And let me tell you folks, what I know for sure, Love is all there is.

Enjoy always, T