Category Archives: Alchemy of Intimacy
This is a little story I heard recently in response to my often asked question: How did you meet your Lover?
Jenny had gone to a local bar with her sister and some friends to celebrate her sister’s recent promotion at work. She wasn’t much of a regular attendee at bars and this night she ended up drinking a club soda and sitting a bit apart from her sister, who was getting a bit too drunk, but who can blame her it was her celebration.
Jenny was sitting at one of those taller bar tables where you have to sit on a bar stool, not a regular table, when she took note of a man sitting down on the bar stool next to her. She took note that he was a rather nice looking man, but other than that she paid him no attention. After all, she was suppose to be there with her sister and while she was single, she wasn’t on the lookout for a new man in her life. Well, you know what they say about when you’re not looking.
Soon after the man took a seat next to her, she heard him being greeting by another man, apparently one of his buddies.
Buddy asked Man sitting next to Jenny; “So who’s your friend?”
Man sitting next to Jenny answered; “I don’t know her and I don’t think she want’s to know me.”
This, of course, intrigued Jenny. Without a moment of hesitation she turned to the Man sitting next to her and asked, “Why would you say that?”
Looking a little chagrin to have been overheard, the Man sitting next to Jenny said, “Because you’ve ignored me since I sat down.”
Jenny chuckled, “That doesn’t mean I don’t want to know you. It only means I didn’t make an effort to strike up a conversation with you. Just because you took a seat next to me doesn’t mean I have to talk to you.” But even as she said that, she knew it would have been a nice and polite thing to do.
Which he quickly pointed out by saying, “But if you DID want to know me, wouldn’t you have made the effort?”
Of course, he also could have started a conversation with her, but he hadn’t.
Jenny said, “Maybe I didn’t say anything because I’m shy.” Which of course wasn’t’ true, as demonstrated by her ability to easily jump in to his conversation with his buddy.
Man next to her said, “Well, are you?”
Jenny asked, “Am I what? Shy?”
“No, interested in getting to know me?” Man said.
Well, now Jenny had a problem. She could either admit she had no interest in meeting the Man sitting next to her, (which seemed rude) or she could claim that yes, she wanted to know all about him. Feeling frisky and up for the challenge, she opted to go with the latter option to see where it would lead. Besides,she figured if things turned sour, she could always go in search of her sister to dump the guy. (Harsh, but true.)
Jenny soon learned that Man sitting next to her was named Bob, and they spent the next hour discussing the merits of mating rituals conducted at bars, among other such topics. Jenny had a grand time, Bob made her laugh, always a good sign, and they had such a good time that before the evening was over, they exchanged contact info. They then arranged to meet again for dinner to continue their intense conversation, and they soon discovered in each other someone they wanted to get to know better.
Several months later they’re still having intense conversations and are well on their way to happily ever after, or where ever else their romantic journey may take them.
So how did Jenny met her lover?
She ignored him until he got her attention.
Enjoy always, T
Today is Valentine’s Day. It’s the day we celebrate romance and relationships.
Come on folks, let’s be inclusive. Let’s not just celebrate romantic relationships, let’s celebrate all relationships. Let’s celebrate our girl friends, our boy friends and those family members we actually like. And while we’re at it we can throw in a few neighbors and some co-workers. These are all included in our relationships, they all have value, and they are all worthy of being celebrated.
All relationships provide the Alchemy of Intimacy. I know, for some it’s more than others, and that’s a good thing, but everyone in our lives brings us value. And, we in return, bring value to everyone we know. Yes, we (you) do.
Remember when you were in grade school and you pretty much had to give a Valentine to very one in your class? Good idea, right. No one was left out. Imagine being like that again. Imagine giving a special message of appreciation – one that says; You’re Special – to all your friends and family, not just your significant other.
Even if you don’t happen to have a love of your life in your life at the moment – you can still show your love of life. And Have Fun.
Enjoy Always, T
I like to say I write paranormal, metaphysical, spiritual romance. So what the H* is; paranormal, metaphysical, spiritual romance? I think it can be anything I want it to be, but mostly I believe it’s about the Alchemy of Intimacy.
The dictionary definition of alchemy is; 1. a medieval chemical and speculative philosophy seeking to achieve the transmutation of base metals into gold – and the discovery of a means of indefinitely prolonging life, 2. any magical power or process of transmuting something common into something special.
I like the idea of speculative philosophy, at least I think so. I like the idea of changing something common into something special. I like the idea of having magical powers. Some of my favorite characters have magical powers.
I defiantly like the idea of transmuting romance into something special.
I believe romance writers use their creative powers to take every day love stories and transmute them into something special. They allow readers to believe they have reached across time and space to find a higher plain. Romance writers allow you to imagine everlasting love (HEA) and enjoy the journey along the way.
I also believe that some of the greatest risks are the risks not taken. Or, to put it another way, often the greatest risk is to take no risk at all. To play it safe and take no risks translates into dull, boring and a life not well lived, not fully experienced.
When we take risks we expand our experiences. I know what it feels like to sit in the comfort of my home and read an book about travel to Scotland, but how does it FEEL to actually take the necessary steps to board a plane and fly half-way across the world? What does it mean to land in a foreign country where people have a different culture, different food and drive on the other side of the road? It’s a risk, especially the driving part, but it’s also an experience rich with possibilities.
Take for instance the risk of falling in love. Now that’s a grand and glorious risk. It can contain the highest highs and the lowest lows. What else in our emotional experience presents as many opportunities for risk, success or failure?
I also believe that there are no bad romantic experiences and conversely, there are no good romantic experiences. Experiences just are. It’s our perception of them, and usually our expectations, that judges them to be bad or good. We expect romance to look and feel a certain way and when it falls short of our expectations, well that’s bad. When it fulfills our fantasies, I mean our expectations, it feels good – real good. Metaphysical, spiritual good.
I’m sure you could come up with a number of examples where the romantic risk you took, and the experience you had, was not at all what you expected. But maybe, just maybe, what may have seemed bad at the time, become oh so good when viewed through the rear-view lens of time. Like whoa, glad I dodged that bullet. That’s the nice thing about time. Time lets us look back and enjoy.
And for you, my dear friend, I do hope you . . . Enjoy always, T
How did you meet your significant other, your lover, your soulmate?
I often ask that question of the people I meet. I like hearing their stories and sometimes they’re pretty interesting. Often we hear it said that love finds us when we least expect it. Sometimes it’s when we just out enjoying life. I’ve always thought the best way to meet some one special and interesting was to do something special and interesting. In other words, take a risk.
I recently heard this story from a couple I met while dinning at a local restaurant. I’ll call the couple Betty and Frank (not their real names).
Frank was activity looking for the love of his life. He wanted to meet someone and he was willing to use an on-line dating service to do it. You know the kind that seek to match you with your soulmate, or at least someone with similar interests.
Betty was also looking for love. She went to the same internet site and signed up for an introductory account that let her use the service for a few days to try it out. After she created her on-line profile she got a few hits that “matched” her desires. One stood out above the rest…. Mr. Frank. She read his profile, was interested, but after exchanging only one email she closed her account. She wasn’t ready to pay for taking this risk.
End of story? No!
Betty’s sister asked her to go with her to a special holiday service at her church. Betty had heard of her sister’s church but she had never attended. When the holiday service was over Betty’s sister lingered to connect with some friends. Betty wandered to the back of the church to wait for her sister. She took a seat near the back door. A man was sitting a few seats away by himself. He was a nice looking man, but Betty, being only a visitor, felt safer sitting there in silence, acutely aware of the attractive man sitting nearby.
Soon Betty realized that ‘attractive man’ was also a visitor to the church and he was also waiting for his friend to be ready to leave. When said friend stepped away from ‘attractive man’ he turned to Betty and said “Hi, how you doing?” or some such highly original opening line. They began talking, exchanging stories on how they were both visitors, that neither of them actually attended this church and they were each waiting on their sister and friend.
Attractive man introduced himself as Frank. He mentioned where he lived and where he worked. Somehow all of this started to sound eerily familiar to Betty. She started to ask him more questions and soon she was able to confirm that Frank was Mr. Frank from the on-line dating service. The same Mr. Frank that had drawn her interest during her very short-lived trial period.
The laughed about how fate had a strange way of working to get them to meet even though Betty had quit the service. They exchanged email and phone numbers and, as they say, the rest just fell into place. Several months later they looked happy and in love.
Interesting…. Two souls made the briefest connection on-line and then they both attended a church they had never gone to before at the request of others and they ended up meeting, not because someone introduced them to each other, but because they sat near each other at the back of the church, waiting to leave. Sounds like fate to me.
Love works in mysterious and magical ways.
What’s your story??
Enjoy always, T
A Blog KISS for today. Keep It Short and Simple.
First off, let me say, I am all in favor of relationships and I think marriage can be a beautiful expression of a committed relationship.
Now, I will also say; I am neither for nor against marriage. I am also neither for nor against divorce. So what am I in favor of? I’ll say it again: Relationships.
I AM all in favor of everyone walking their own path of self-awareness and love. I am a BIG believer of relationships. Good or bad, beautiful or ugly they all serve a purpose….. to educate, to enlighten, to evolve our souls.
Relationships create the Alchemy of Intimacy. They provide the opportunity for growth and transformation.
I’m also a big fan of happiness. Happiness is not just home made. It’s also OWN made. We create our own happiness. No one else can do that for us. Happiness takes daily practice. It’s not a one time thing, I’ve got it now, I’m good to go. No, Happiness, like love, is a daily choice we choose again and again each day of our lives….. or not. Always the question is: What are you choosing?
I choose to love myself so I can love you too.
I have been blessed with the experience of knowing unconditional love. Not from another, but for another. And once you experience unconditional love, you can never hate again. The love is too big. It touches everything, it encompasses everything.
I wish you joy and peace, health and wealth, but most of all, I wish you love.
Love always and Enjoy always, T